Acts of Kindness

Performing random acts of kindness once a week is a terrific way to make a wellbeing deposit into your happiness account.

In one psychology study participants were given 20 USD and told that they have to spend the money that very same day. One group of participants was asked to spend it on themselves, whereas another group was asked to spend it on someone else.

The results might surprise you. Whilst the group that spent the money on themselves described a little boost of happiness, the group that spent it on another person experienced a more significant boost of happiness that lasted longer.

Intrigued by these results, the experiment was repeated with one small but significant change. This time the participants were given only 5 USD to spend. And the results?

They were exactly the same.

What does this tell us? The experiment showed that we can improve our level of happiness when we treat ourselves. Well, we probably might have guessed that part… The more significant outcome was that spending money on someone else makes us even happier. The reason for that additional happiness boost is that through the act of kindness participants reported a stronger sense of social contact. The act of giving connected them to other people. And here’s the really crucial part: the study showed that it doesn’t matter how much you spend on another person. Any act of kindness performed for another person makes the recipient happier, which connects you to them more meaningfully. And that makes you happier. It is the act that matters. 

Generosity Prompts

To help you maximise this effect, set a reminder for yourself once a week. This will help you build a habit or routine. When you receive the reminder take action that day to make sure you perform one random act of kindness (do more if you wish, but one is enough). You can even gameify this process if you wish by using an online randomiser. You could even include a circle of friends. Once a week you could spin an online randomiser to select which friends have to perform which act of kindness. Soon that spirit of generosity will become second nature to you. 

Kindness Expressions

Another way to promote acts of kindness is to systematise it in your school or college. You’ll need to get the buy in of the responsible adult first, but once you’ve got them onboard here’s what you do… Obtain a small, durable object such as a teddy bear, doll or figurine. Give the object a name. Then, in the last class of the week or at the end of an assembly the responsible adult will give you the floor. You then stand up holding the object, and explain to the group that this object represents gratitude and appreciation. Next, you select an individual who will get to keep the object for the following week. It's really important that you explain why you have chosen the person that you have. The explanation should focus on a specific act of kindness performed by the recipient. Perhaps they helped you with your homework. Perhaps they sat with you at lunch when you were on your own. Ideally, the act of kindness should be separate from their normal duties or responsibilities (but it doesn’t always have to be). The recipient then gets to keep the object for a week. In the last class of following week, or at the end of the following assembly, the recipient then stands up and chooses another person to give the object to for a week, and explains the act of kindness that prompted them to do so. And so on... 

You could go one step further if you want and have a journal or scrap book that comes with the object. You could ask each person who gives the object to write down in the book the reason they chose the person that they did. You could even add a photo of the recipient holding the object. You want to make sure everyone in your community is comfortable with this first of course. However, the value of the journal or scrap book is that you’ll have a historical record for the whole community to share and co-construct. The added value here is that in an age of online or remote communities, you can still build sustainable gratitude processes.

The wellbeing benefit of this system is that it acknowledges and encourages acts of kindness within your community in such a way that further increases the acknowledgement and encouragement of those acts of kindness. It helps us create another positive feedback cycle. Moreover, having this little ritual allows the community to end its week or gathering on a positive, happier high note.